WELCOME
09 MIRACLE MTN REUNION
BLAST FROM THE PAST
CLASS REUNION GROUPS
CLASS REUNION INDIVIDUALS
COALDIGGER MILITARY
FUN & CHUCKLE
GARY COALDIGGER PAGE
GHS TEACHERS
GHS SKIDOOS GATHERING
GARY, WVA INFO PAGE
INSPIRATIONAL
MEMORIAL AND OBITS 1
MEMORIAL AND OBITS 2
 MEMORIALS & OBITS 3
MY MTN MEMORIES OF WVA
NEWS & EVENTS
PHOTO'S:ANAWALT
PHOTO'S GARY AREA
PHOTO'S PAGETON
PHOTO'S  WILCOE
FLORIDA REUNION
WHITES GET TOGETHER
SPECIAL MEMORIALS
MEMORIAL PAGE FOUR
Email Me

Funny Jokes
WINTER SNOW
One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast.
 
They hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even- numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through. Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
 
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.
 
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the power goes out.
 
Norman's wife is very upset and with a worried look on her face she says, Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"
 
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, Norman says...
 
"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."
PRIEST TEACHING INDIAN CHIEF
A Catholic Priest was about to leave his Mission in the
jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he
 realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English,
so he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.

   He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

  The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little
farther and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

 The Priest is really getting enthusiastic about the results when
he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple of natives in
 the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds,
"Riding a bike." The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and
kills them.

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent
years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other
. "How could he kill these people in cold blood that way"?

  The chief replied, "My bike."
Funny Stories
WHY PARENTS DRINK
 


 
 ubject:  Why Parents Drink

 he boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not arrived at work.  After two hours with no call from the employee, he worriedly dialed the employee's cell phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"ello."

" s your daddy home?" he asked.

" es," whispered the small voice.

"ay I talk with him?"

he child whispered, "No."

urprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"es," whispered the small voice.

"ay I talk with her?"

gain the small voice whispered, "No."

oping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"es," whispered the child, "a policeman"

ondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"o, he's busy", whispered the child.

"usy doing what?"
"alking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," the whisper answered.

rowing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

" helicopter." answered the whispering voice.

"hat is going on there?" queried the boss, now truly apprehensive.

gain, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter."

larmed and concerned the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

till whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: "ME!"






....

Jeff Foxworthy on West Virginia

 


Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about West
Virginians...

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you
may live in West Virginia.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't
work there, you may live in West Virginia.

If you've ever yanked a drive-in movie speaker off the post when exiting the theatre lot with your best girl, you may live in West Virginia. 

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in
West Virginia.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in West Virginia .

If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Charleston for the
weekend, you may live in West Virginia .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in West Virginia.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in West Virginia.

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back
again, you may live in West Virginia.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard without flinching, you may live in West Virginia.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave
both unlocked, you may live in West Virginia.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you may live in West Virginia.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
may live in West Virginia.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph and you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you may live in West Virginia .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow, you may live in West Virginia.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction, you may live in West Virginia.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in West Virginia.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in West Virginia.

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
West Virginia friends & others, you definitely have lived in West Virginia!


The House Behind The House

One of my fondest memories
As I recall the days of yore
was the little house, behind the house,
With the crescent o'er the door. 
 
'Twas a place to sit and ponder
With your head all bowed down low;
Knowing that you wouldn't be there,
If you didn't have to go. 
 
Ours was a multi-holer, three,
With a size for every one.
You left there feeling better,
After your job was done.  
 
You had to make those frequent trips
In snow, rain, sleet, or fog--
To that little house where you usually
Found the Sears-Roebuck catalog. 
 
Oft times in dead of winter,
The seat was spread with snow.
Twas then with much reluctance,
To that little house you'd go. 
 
With a swish you'd clear that wooden seat,
Bend low, with dreadful fear
You'd shut your eyes and grit your teeth
As you settled on your rear.
 
I recall the day Ol' Granddad,
Who stayed with us one summer,
Made a trip out to that little house 
Which proved to be a bummer.  
 
'Twas the same day that my Dad had
Finished painting the kitchen green.
He'd just cleaned up the mess he'd made



With rags and gasoline. 
 

He tossed the rags down in the hole
Went on his usual way
Not knowing that by doing so
He'd eventually rue the day.

Now Granddad had an urgent call,
I never will forget!
This trip he made to the little house
Stays  in my memory yet.  
 
He sat down on the wooden seat,
With both feet on the floor.
He filled his pipe and tapped it down
And struck a match on the outhouse door.  
 
He lit the pipe and sure enough,
it soon began to glow.
He slowly raised his rear a bit
And tossed the flaming match below.



 

The Blast that followed, I am told
Was heard for miles around;
And there was poor ol' Granddad
Sprawled out there on the ground. 
 
The smoldering pipe still in his mouth,
His eyes were shut real tight;
The celebrated three-holer
Was blown clear out of sight. 
 
We asked him what had happened,
What he said I'll  ne'er forget.
He said he thought it must have been
The pinto beans he et!
 
Next day we had a new one
Dad put it up with ease.
But this one had a door sign 
that read:
No Smoking, Please!
 
Now that's the story's end my friend,
Of  memories long ago,
When we went to the house behind the house,
because we had to go.




For those who never had to trot out in the Cold.....




Just Give Thanks!!!

Funny Pictures
SHOVEL SHOVEL
   GOTTA SHOVEL THIS SNOW!!!! OH OHHHH NOT GETTING ANYWHERE
GOTTA GO!!!
   Gotta Go, Gotta Go. oops!!! TOO LATE!!!
IT'S MY TURN .......OUT PWEEEEE!!! IT'S STINKY
   OK, OK, WHO'S IN THERE? I SEE YOUR EYES AND HEAR YOU SINGING, BUT THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE HOLE !!!!!!!GET OUT QUICK.......
HUBBY'S NEW MOTORCICKLE
   MY new Cow-Wasockie Motorsickel!!!!!!WHOOPEEEEEEE Wann' ride em.
HELP HELP, I'VE FALLEN IN
   HELPPPPP, HELLO, ANYONE THERE HELPPPP
MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY MOVES FORWARD
   By the year 3000!!!!!WHAT???? This will be here within 5 years
LOOKIE, LOOKIE
   LOOKIE I have somethin' for you; Will you be my Friend PLEASE
VACANCY
   I THINK I'LL PASS THIS MOTEL UP!!!!
AM I DEAD?
   YOU BET YOUR BIPPY YOU'RE REALLLLLY GONE!!!!! FOREVER
BABY DANCER
   COME ON, SHAKE THAT BOODIE!!!! COME DANCE WITH ME
I GET THE TOP
   TWO HOLER, LOOK OUT BELOW........ OHHHHH NOOOOOOOO!!!!
RIDING HOGS AND LOOKING FOR CHICKS
   This isn't the kind of Chicks I was especting. they are too short for me !!!!
I'm just a country Girl From the good ole Hills of West Virginia
   MA, I JUST WANTED MY SOCKS MENDED, NOT MY UNDERWEAR.
KNOCK KNOCK OPEN UP THIS DOOR
   IF I DON'T COME OUT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DOO? "EAT THE DOOR!!!! AND WAIT FOR YOU TO COME OUT. YOU HAVE TO COME OUT SOME TIME."
OK, OK, I'M LOST
   WHICH WAY DO I GO? HELP, I'M LOST, I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THE "WRONG TURN" (WV movie) AND END UP ON "SIGNAL HILLS" (wv movie)
....
OHHHHH THAT HURTS
   THE BOOGER GRABBED MY FINGER AND STUCK ME IN THE EYE.SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR PICK YOUR NOSE!!!!
PLUMBERS TRUCK
   DO YOU LIKE MY PAINT JOB? YOU'RE REALLY SEEING MY PHYSIQUE, IT'S ME PAINTED ON HERE!!!!
Links to Other Humor Sites
| DANG GOOD JOKES |
 


08/25/05

|WELCOME| |09 MIRACLE MTN REUNION| |BLAST FROM THE PAST | |CLASS REUNION GROUPS | |CLASS REUNION INDIVIDUALS| |COALDIGGER MILITARY| |FUN & CHUCKLE| |GARY COALDIGGER PAGE| |GHS TEACHERS| |GHS SKIDOOS GATHERING | |GARY, WVA INFO PAGE| |INSPIRATIONAL| |MEMORIAL AND OBITS 1| |MEMORIAL AND OBITS 2| | MEMORIALS & OBITS 3| |MY MTN MEMORIES OF WVA| |NEWS & EVENTS| |PHOTO'S:ANAWALT | |PHOTO'S GARY AREA| |PHOTO'S PAGETON| |PHOTO'S WILCOE| |FLORIDA REUNION| |WHITES GET TOGETHER| |SPECIAL MEMORIALS| |MEMORIAL PAGE FOUR|